uh oh it’s that time of the year again. i know what you’re thinking. how can i make my nose even more red? how can i get rid of all of the white parts of my eyes? i’m so sick of bragging about my allergies. delete me and my handsome allergic head.

 

what are some natural remedies?

 

light two cigarettes or two vapes. one cigarette per nostril. put one cigarette up to your nostril and breath in as deep as you can through your nose. do this three times per nostril per morning. you’ll know you’re feeling much better when you start coughing until you throw up.

 

before you go to bed, clip some of your friend’s hair and stuff this into one of your nostrils (curls are an extra strength dose). put some cat fur in your other nostril. tape your nostrils so that the hair and fur don’t fall out. you can use any kind of tape that makes your skin fall off. wake up feeling much better.

 

another natural remedy:

 

point to the areas of your face that are bothering you. for example, if your nose is itchy, point at your nose for 30 seconds. make sure you aren’t touching your nose with your pointed finger or this will make a loop of pain and you will feel much worse.

 

according to web md, if you could either have allergy rhinitis or a brain tumor. choose which illness you prefer.

 

fill a balloon with robitussin. tie the balloon closed. hold the balloon on top of your head for 5 minutes. put the balloon in a chair and then sit on it over and over again until it pops then worship the stain in the pants you’re wearing.