ever spend too much time eating? throw all of your food on the floor and then step on it. suddenly you don’t feel like eating food for hours anymore.

 

what is a 1 minute egg? no such thing maybe? or maybe not. here’s a tip to help your egg become an egg in just 1 minute. make sure you’re purchasing actual eggs and you’re done!

 

tired of waiting for water to boil on the stove? no problem. just turn on all of your burners and leave them on until something breaks. fast boil!

 

doing dishes is so dirty and takes forever. what can i do mark bittman?

 

easy - they’re only dirty if you believe they are dirty. if not, just use and reuse forever. why bother putting your “dirty” dishes in the sink. just put them in the cabinet where they belong. now they’re clean and now you have more time to eat chips or whatever.

 

want to save time in the morning so you can be nasty and keep snoozing? start making coffee in your mouth. mix in whatever you like. 

 

is 5 minutes too long to wait for your food to heat up in the microwave? cut that time in half by putting your microwave inside another microwave. double the wave and double the radiation which is always better for you. some say this causes cataracts in dogs. if that happens, your dog will have cool eye(s). tell your dog to lay off the microwaves.

 

and that’s how mark bittman does it. always remember - flush whatever you don’t want.