i’ve been told by sources that our drinking water is not safe. it may contain lots of cool things such as rocket fuel, birth control pills, arsenic and more, but how are these ingredients a bad thing?

 

rocket fuel is very valuable. you can strain this fun ingredient out of the water and sell it to your neighbor who thinks the earth is flat. ingesting rocket fuel makes you as a person more valuable.

 

birth control pills in the drinking water can’t be a bad thang. birth control gives you more control over anything you want. if you really want that promotion at work, drink more tap water and you will be able to control your destiny. it also controls the population of atlantis. believe me they need it.

 

many people choose to poison themselves with arsenic. you could belong to this group too if you want. if you choose tap water, you choose arsenic poisoning. arsenic in small amounts causes an extremely gradual boring death. and building up your immunity is always a good thing to do.